There are five seasons - spring, summer, fall, winter - and flu. Soon television, radio and newspaper reporters will be tracking the path of fevered wheezings across the country; and we’ll be updated about how many achy, nauseous victims have been left in its wake.
I thought I was one of them. I woke up feeling like I needed life support from the Energizer Bunny. I looked pale and my eyes were watery. Happily, it wasn’t the flu. Those were allergy symptoms. It seems I’m allergic to David Letterman.

When it comes to viruses, however, I’m prepared. I have everything I need - which is aspirin. I take two aspirin as needed for fever. That’s all. Then I put a “Do Not Disturb” sign on my life and ride it out.
My husband on the other hand - the hand clutching the pharmacy-full bag of flu medications - tries to fight it. The only difference in our stationary, viral, voodoo dances is that he recovers in three days and I recover in seventy-two hours.
Take two aspirins and call me in the morning, feed a cold and starve a fever, drink lots of fluids, get plenty of sleep - I […]

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